Helping Abby
by CountryCuddles
Summary: *Warning! This story has selfharm and a eating disorder along with sexual content-please do not read if this may trigger you/ you are sensitive to the subjects!* *First fanfic/story ever, please let me know how I can get improve* Our little forensic scientist is hurting. Ziva finds out and Abby runs away, afraid to face the others. Will they find abby in time? What about the case?


"Hey Gibbs!" Abby cheerfully chirped at him.

"You have anything for me to do?"

"Not right now Abs. Here is your Caff-pow though." He gently kissed her on the cheek.

Abby eagerly grabbed the drink and pulled a hardy gulp through the red straw.

Gibbs turned and left the lab quietly. Abby looked at the back of her Caff-pow cup and she jumped. Abby walked over to the sink and poured it down the drain and refilled the cup with tap water instead. She couldn't bear the thought of drinking almost 600 calories! Abby tapped her toe on the hard floor and took a pull of the water through the straw. It defiantly didn't taste as good but it gave her a hollow sense of pride to know that she wasn't drinking any calories.

Tony playfully tossed a ball of paper at Ziva.

"Real mature tony." Ziva muttered under her breath.

"What did you say Zee-vah?" Tony dragged out her name in the way he knew annoyed her. Ziva just rolled her eyes and focused on her report. Mcgee was frantically typing away on his computer.

"Hey Mcgeek! What are you doing over there? Sounds like a storm!" Tony crowed.

"I am trying to upgrade my computer."

Tony sighed and looked down at his hands. He almost wished someone's body would be found so that he would have something to do.

"Tony, Mcgee, Ziva! Suit up! We have a body!" Gibbs shouted as he briskly walked into the room.

Tony, Mcgee, and Ziva all jumped up, racing each other towards the door.

"Victims?" Gibbs looks over at the two bodies laying on the ground and he feels an aching in her chest.

"Rachel and Lucy Mathews. Rachel is a retired Navy Officer and Lucy was her daughter." Tony answered helpfully.

Gibbs ground his teeth and glanced at Ducky.

"They appear to have been dead less than 6 hours. The cause of death in the older woman appears to be a single gun shot wound to the head. The cause of death for the child appears to be that she bled to death from several stab wounds too the neck."

"Hey gibbs! I found the murder weapons!" Ziva yelled.

Gibbs ran over to where Ziva crouched and peaked over her shoulder. Ziva pulled out a black gun and a blood crusted knife.  
"Good job Ziva, get those back to Abby and see if she can pull some prints."

"Abby! I have some evidence for you to process!" Mcgee's voice echoed down the hallway too the lab. Abby jumped up and wiped the tears off her cheeks and she put on her best Abby smile and looked expectantly at where Mcgee was coming from. Mcgee came charging through the door and practically threw the box of evidence into Abby's hands.

"Gibbs says this is top priority and he needs it ASAP."

Abby nodded and Mcgee left. As Mcgee walked out the door, Abby let the fake smile fall of her face. She sniffled a bit and then turned to begin working on the evidence.

"Ziva, Tony! What do you have for me?" Gibbs roared as he charged at his desk.

Ziva jumped up and handed Gibbs a sheet of paper.

"Petty Officer Rachel Mathews is retired. Her record is clean except way back in 1992, she was charged with a DUI."

Gibbs glared at her.

"Come on people! Give me something I can work with!"

Tony stepped over to Gibbs.

"Our petty officer was spotted down at a club last night between 9:00pm-11:00pm."

Tony smirked at Ziva who just stared at him.

"What are you waiting for! Go!" Gibbs motioned towards the elevator.

Mcgee walked back into the room and watched Tony and Ziva take off.

"Mcgee! Go talk to Ducky and bring me some information!"

"Abby! You better tell me you have something!" Gibbs hollered at her as he stormed into the lab. Abby jumped and yanked her sleeves down and faked a smile.

"Sorry Gibbs, I will have something in about 5 minutes."

"Thats not good enough Abby! Make it 2!" Gibbs stormed out of the room and left Abby white-faced in the lab. Gibbs had never yelled at her like that. A tear ran down Abbys face and she began to shake. She hated feeling out of control! She raced too the bathroom and pulled a small razor from the side of her shoe. Abby then yanked it across her exposed thigh and upper wrist. She sucked on her lip as the blade bit into her skin and a highway of red blood spilled from her cuts. She looked around frantically, searching for something she could use to mop up the blood with. Abby grabbed a paper towel and pressed it to her cuts, hissing as they stung. She looked mopped the tears from her face and carefully pulled down her clothing so it covered her scars. The cuts seemed to pulse a secret heart beat. _Wah wah wah. _Abby typed frantically into her computer, trying to get the results Gibbs wanted. _You stupid girl! Nobody cares about you! Gibbs doesnt love you, Mcgee doesnt love you. They don't even notice when you are hurting. You deserve those terrible boyfriends. _Her mind screamed at her as she tried to concentrate on her work.

"Excuse me miss, do you recognize this woman?" Tony pulled out a picture of Rachel Mathews and showed it too the pretty blond bartender.

"Yah, she was in here last night. Why? Did something happen to her?"

Tony ignored her question and continued.

"Did you talk to her? Did anyone else talk to her?"

The waitress looked Tony up and down and Ziva hissed, glaring at the waitress. The waitress turned to look at her and her eyes went cold.

Her tone changed to one that could freeze an iceberg. "Yah. She was here. She talked to some dude. He has black hair and was about 6'2. Tall guy. Messed up nose. She wasn't dressed for a bar, must have not planned to be here long. She and him left together."

Tony glanced at Ziva and turned back too the woman.

"What is your name?"  
The woman turned back to him and her eyes warmed and she winked at him.

"My name is Zoe. Want my number too?" She giggled at him.

"That would be helpful-you know, if we have more questions."  
Ziva seethed and ripped the paper with the phone number out of Zoe's hand.

"Thanks for your time." She icily called to Zoe. Ziva motioned for Tony to follow her.

Tony turned back to Zoe.

"You wouldn't by any chance know the guys name would you?"

Zoe looked up at him from under her lashes.

"What do I get if I give you his name."

"Just tell me." Tony coaxed.

"His name is Peter Jackson. His loves his beer cold and he is an amazing kisser and a ladies man."

Tony gave her one of his playboy smiles and Zoe reached over and grabbed his head, pulling him in for a deep kiss. Ziva starred open-mouthed as Tony silently stood as Zoe kissed him. Something inside of Ziva snapped and she lunged forward. Tony broke off the kiss and half smiled at Zoe. He saw Ziva jumping over the counter and he leaped at her as she raised her hand to smack the blond bartender. Tony then dragged her cursing from the bar.

"Abby! Tell me you have results!" Gibbs called out as he came back into the room. His mood had changed. It was more determined than furious. This made Abby a little nervous, would he explode if she didn't have what he needed?

"There were three different prints on the gun. The first print belonged too Rachel Mathews and the second belonged too her daughter, Lucy but the third belonged too another person."

Abby faltered and looked over at Gibbs.

"Well?" He pushed.

"The third prints belong too a girl named Josie Banks. I don't have the prints off the knife yet though."

Gibbs turned sharply on his heel and raced out the door.

Abby sank too the ground and held back a sob. She didn't even put on a fake smile that time and he still didn't notice she was tearing up inside. _Maybe if I was thinner, people would love me. Maybe if I was skinnier then people would notice me. Maybe I would be worth something._

"Hey Ducky, Gibbs sent me to get some information from you about our victims."

Ducky looked up from the body he was working on and stared at Mcgee.

"Are you ok Mcgee? You seem hyped up..."

"Oh I am fine Ducky. What do you have?"

"Rachel Mathews cause of death was the gun shot too her forehead. She also had a vast amount of bruising on her abdomen and arms but there is more. She was pregnant Mcgee."

Mcgee gasped and looked over at the body of Rachel Mathews.

"Lucy's cause of death was a punctured artery in her neck. She bled to death within minutes. However there was some bruising on her arms and face that occurred before death."

"Thanks duck!" Mcgee called behind him as he ran out of the morgue.

Abby stared at the clock. She was SO hungry. But in a way, she sort of liked the empty feeling. It gave her pride to know she was strong enough to resist the temptations of food. She began to bounce from one foot to the other, hoping that it would burn some more calories.

Gibbs tapped his fingers on his desk irritatedly. How come he had no new information? Just then, Mcgee came racing in. "Gibbs! Rachel was pregnant!" Mcgee continued to relay the information to Gibbs as he sat stoically in his chair. When Mcgee finished, gibbs sat silently for a few minutes. Just as he was about to speak, Ziva and Tony burst into the room. Ziva was furious, she stomped over to her desk and threw down her jacket.

"Ziva! I was just getting information!" Tony pleaded.

"YOU WERE KISSING HER TONY!" Ziva roared at him.

Gibbs and Mcgee looked on in amusement.

"Ziva, she kissed me!"

"Oh right, And you stood there like a stuffed animal with your tongue down her throat." Ziva glared at him.

"What did you find out guys?" Gibbs interrupted.

Tony relayed the information to him, making sure to keep out the part of Zoe kissing him while Ziva sulked in the corner.

"Ziva, go and see if Abby has gotten the prints off the knife yet."

Ziva stopped in the bathroom before she went to Abby. She was furious with Tony and she needed to cool off before she talked to bubbly Abby. Ziva splashed her face with some cold water and dried off her face with a paper towel. She wadded it up and she was ready to toss it away but she noticed some weird coloring on one of the top paper towels. She gingerly pulled it out of the can and gasped as she realized it was blood. She initially thought maybe someone had their period and threw their dressing in this trash can. In mild disgust, she got ready to toss it back in the can when she noticed the fine patterns of blood on the towel. Moping up blood doesn't make that kind of mark. Ziva's eyes got wide. There was no way this was period blood. Ziva turned and went down too Ducky.

"Ducky, I need your help." She quietly called.

"I need you not to say anything to anyone yet."

She told her story to Ducky as he listened quietly.

"This sounds like someone is purposefully hurting themselves. You said you found this in the girls bathroom, that means it could only be Jenny or Abby..." Ducky trailed off.

"I need to go see Abby right now, maybe I could talk to her?" Ziva suggested.

Ducky shook his head.

"Just observe because you don't want to accuse her of harming herself if she isn't and it will just alarm her. If you see anything at all, come to me immediately!"

Ziva nodded and headed down to Abby's lab.

Abby jumped up and down. She was vigorously trying to move. She needed to keep the destructive thoughts out of her head.

"Abby!" Ziva called softly.

Abby stopped and flipped around, breathing hard.

"Gibbs wants to know if...Are you ok Abby? Your breathing really hard." Ziva stared at her in concern.

Abby's insides curled with alarm and panic. What could she say? She spotted her caff-pow cup and it gave her an idea.

"Oh, the caff-pow just gave me a lot of energy. What did you need?"

"Gibbs wants to know if you have pulled prints from the knife yet."

Abby smiled warmly at Ziva but her insides were raw. She was hurting and nobody noticed a d*** thing! She turned back too the computer and pulled up a file.

"There were two prints on the knife, one belonged too Lucy and the other belonged too a guy called Peter Jackson."

Ziva gasped at the name, that was the guy Rachel had left the bar with! Abby continued.

"The blood on the knife also belonged too Lucy. It appears as if this Peter guy stabbed the poor little girl. But his prints were not on the gun. Maybe he and this Josie Banks girl are working together?"

She looked over at Ziva. Ziva was staring wide-mouthed at Abby. She pulled out her walkie-talkie and shouted to Tony.

"Tony! See if this Peter guy has a record and if a girl by the name of Josie Banks also has a record!" She put the device down and stared curiously at Abby. Abby jiggled from one foot too the other, a little uncomfortable with Ziva staring at her like that. She self consciously pulled the sleeves of her lab coat down a little further.

"Ziva, Peter was arrested 2 years ago for murder of his ex-girlfriend. Due to some technicality in the courts, he was released about 6 months ago. However Josie Banks girl does not have a record."

Ziva slammed her fist on the desk. Josie, Josie, Josie. Who is this girl?

She looked at Abby once more and then stormed out of the room.

Abby gripped the counter and dry heaved. How could nobody f****** notice that she was drowning in herself!? _Nobody notices because nobody cares about an ugly goth girl like you. _Her head screamed at her. _Your just so fat, no wonder nobody cares. They probably all wish you were gone! _

"NO NO NO!" Abby screamed and clutched at her head. She wildly dragged her hands over her face and she tried to plug her ears. Tears streamed down her face as that voice in her head continued.

"NO I AM NOT NO PLEASE NO!" Abby cried out. She stepped back and she slipped, falling hard on her bottom. She curled up on the floor, taking deep, painful breaths.

***  
Ziva heard Abby screaming and she ran as fast as she could back to the lab. She yanked out her gun and looked in the lab. She saw Abby laying on the floor, sobbing. Ziva quietly walked in, keeping her gun drawn. Ziva looked down at Abby and saw that a bit of her skirt had pulled up and she gasped. Abby's thighs were covered in many criss crossing white lines, like train tracks. There were angry red lines that matched the white ones but these were fresh. Some had begun to bleed again and Ziva could tell that she needed stitches. She covered her mouth and tears filled her eyes. How could she have been so blind to Abby's pain? Abby had been acting different but she had thought nothing of it. Ziva put her gun away and walked quietly over to Abby and shook her. Abby looked up at her with a dull expression. Ziva looked at her with pity and pointed down to her thighs. Abby looked down and yanked her skirt down with a look of terror etched across her face.

"Abby, I am going to go get Ducky and Gibbs." Ziva murmured quietly.

"NO! Ziva, please don't! I can't look at their faces. I will stop, I promise!" Abby pleaded with Ziva. Ziva shook her head.

"I am sorry Abby, but I need to go get them. Stay here, we will be back in less than a minute."

Ziva exited the room and Abby jumped up with fright. She was in control! How could Ziva just take it all away from her?! Abby looked around wildly. She had to get out of there! She then noticed the fire escape and she knew what she had too do. Abby pulled a string from her hair and tied it into a bow. She carefully placed it on her desk and she raced towards the fire escape. _Its not like anyone will look for you. You are a useless fat piece of junk! _A tear ran down her face as she ran.

***  
"Ducky! It was Abby! Oh Ducky! She needs help, she needs stitches. They started bleeding again!" Ziva wailed as she raced into the morgue.

"Ziva, I need you to calm down a little bit. It wont do any good." Tears threatened to spill from Ducky's eyes but he held them back.

"Get Gibbs Ziva, we will need him."  
Ziva dragged Gibbs down to the morgue.

"D*** it Ziva! I have a case to solve! This better be important!" He snarled.  
"Jethro, Our Abby is hurting. She needs help Jethro, she needs help."

Tony slammed his fist down on his desk in frustration. Josie Banks was not in any database. How could someone just not show up? Suddenly his phone rang and he yanked it from his pocket.

"Dinozzo." He answered sharply.

"Hey pretty boy. You sound stressed, wanna come out for a snack break?" A purring voice questioned him.

"Hey Zoe. I would love too." He sighed into the phone.

"Great!" She chirped.

"Meet me at the Café across the street from my bar!"

Zoe hung up and Tony rubbed his eyes. A short date with a hot girl should help ease his stress levels. He jumped up and grabbed his jacket.

"Where are you going?" Mcgee called after him.

"I am going to interview a witness from the bar! See if she knows anything!"

"Is she pretty?!" Mcgee hollered after him.

Tony didn't answer, he just smirked and closed the elevator doors.

***  
Gibbs sprinted down to Abby's lab, his heart breaking. How could he have not noticed that something was wrong with his bubbly goth? Hot tears poked at the side of his eyes but he blinked rapidly, trying to keep them at bay. Ziva and Ducky followed close at his heels. Upon entering the lab, they noticed Abby was gone.

"Where is she Ziva? D*** it Ziva!" He whirled around on her.

"I locked the door boss! She couldn't have gotten out this way."

Gibbs turned around and surveyed the room. Of course, the fire escape! He snarled and ran over too the escape and looked out. The street was quiet, there was no sign of Abby. Ducky picked up the small bow and silently handed it to Gibbs.

"Darn you Abby. Oh Abby. I'm sorry." Gibbs mumbled, clutching the ribbon close to him.

Abby sprinted as fast as she could, ignoring the stitch in her side and the burning of her cuts and the blood running down her legs as the cuts re-opened. She gasped painfully as her lungs began to burn and she felt light headed. She has barely eaten anything and as a result, she was low on energy. Suddenly she screamed and fell forward. She looked back and saw that the lower half of her leg was twisted at an odd angle. Abby grimaced in pain and then just stopped struggling. She curled up on the cold concrete and cried. How had everything gone so wrong? The sky grew dark and it began to snow. It was almost the dead of winter and Abby began to shiver. She was so cold... So cold.

Gibbs zipped up his jacket and jumped into the van.

"Mcgee, hurry up!" He roared

"Boss, would you tell me what is going on?" Mcgee treaded carefully.

Gibbs glared at him as the car roared to life and launched into what happened with Abby. When he finished, Mcgee's mouth was wide open and he was very pale.

"Shut your mouth Mcgee! You will let fly's in!"

Mcgee gulped and turned too look out the window. He had tried to trace Abby but she had left everything in her lab. His heart ached and he felt guilt consume him. He could have prevented this! Didn't she see that he loved her?! Suddenly, Mcgee was angry with the world, with Abby and with himself for not seeing anything. Gibbs stared hard out the window, caressing every street for his Abby. When the sky darkened and snow began to fall, he pressed the gas pedal down further.

"Hey Tony boy!" Zoe shouted.

Tony gulped and felt his lower half stir. Zoe was wearing a super tight white lacy tank top and a tiny mini skirt. He could tell she wasn't wearing underwear and he could see her bright red bra through her shirt.

"Hey Zoe!"

She opened the door and dragged him inside and roughly pressed her self up against him. He drank in the honey smell of her hair and the softness of her skin. He gently pulled on her low lip and she let out a groan that sent an electric frenzy through him. He put one hand under her shirt and grasped one of her breasts. She broke off the kiss too look up at him and then she pulled him towards her again. He grabbed at the shirt and ripped it from her shoulders and reached behind her to unclip her bra. She took in a deep breath and reached for his pants and yanked on the zipper. When her bra slid off and his pants slid down, she grabbed his hand.

"Come with me" She winked and pulled him towards the bed room, breasts swinging.

Abby lay in the snow. It coated her eye lashes and began to form a blanket over her. She was shivering so bad and it caused pain to run up and down her body from her leg. She was too cold to cry anymore and she knew that with the blood lose, the cold and the lack of nutrients, she wouldn't last long in this weather. _Nobody cares about you. They probably are happy that you are gone. They probably are not even looking for you. Why would they want a fat pig? _Abby squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the voice. She tried to curl up tighter but she shivered harder and she stared down at her hands. Her fingers began to turn purple with cold and she curled them next to her chest.

Ziva angrily stared at her computer. Thoughts whirred around her head like angry bees.

Where was Peter Jackson right now? What did Tony see in that Zoe girl? Where was Abby? Was Abby ok? Who was Josie Banks? What did Peter and Josie have in common with Rachel and Lucy Mathews? Ziva pulled up Peter's file again. He was arrested for murdering an ex-girlfriend... She stared at the picture of Rachel again. Rachel was pregnant. Was is possible the Peter was the father of her unborn baby? Could this Josie girl be the angry girlfriend of Peter? Was Lucy just an innocent bystander? Suddenly, Ziva gasped. It all made sense! She jumped up and raced for the elevator.

Zoe pushed Tony back onto the bed and wriggled out of the mini skirt. Tony drew in a quick breath when he saw he naked. Her perky breasts were lightly shielded by her blond hair and she had a nice form. He suddenly caught himself wondering if Ziva would look even better. Zoe crawled up over him and she ground against his erection and Tony felt as if he would explode. He pulled her down to him and sucked on one of her nipples, causing her to groan. He gently bit it and then kissed his way from her breast up to behind her ear. He pulled her closer for a kiss. He slipped his tongue into her mouth and she reciprocated. He enjoyed the feeling of her breasts against his chest, even if it was through his shirt. He lifted his hands over his head and she pulled the shirt over his head.

"You know" She gasped. "I sorta like it kinky." She grabbed a pair of cuffs from her bedside and latched Tony too the bed. Tony gasped, this was way beyond hot. He was once again thinking about Ziva, would she do this? Zoe kissed her way down his body and he arched as she reached his special point. She gently pulled his underwear off and his erection sprung free. She ran her hand down his impressive length and then she lowered her lips around him. He shuddered and pushed his hips up to meet her. She moved faster and Tony pulled against the cuffs. He arched and groaned and tightened his muscles as he got close to an orgasm. Zoe removed herself from him and he opened his eyes. Sexual tension filled the air and she climbed on him and hovered over him. She reached for something in the bedside table and he closed his eyes. He could feel her lowering herself on him. He filled her up and she began to rock steadily on him. He groaned, it felt so good. Suddenly he felt cold metal to his throat and he opened his eyes. Zoe's face was completely different, her pretty face was twisted into a snarl. She continued to slowly rock on him. He had a hard time keeping his train of thought with her moving on him like that. He blinked several times before managing to gasp out,

"Who are you?" She grinned and began to move faster, he struggled against the restraints as she pushed him over the edge. He hollered and jerked as he came.

"I am Zoe Banks. Or as my birth certificate says, Josie Banks." She spat as his body jerked.

Gibbs and Mcgee were still scouring the area. As the sky grew darker and the snow fell harder, Gibbs felt tension growing in his chest, like he had rubber bands around his lungs. Suddenly Mcgee hollered,

"I think that is her! Stop Gibbs! I think thats Abby!"

Mcgee jumped out of the car before it had even stopped and he ran to a small lump on the ground. Her white lab coat blended in with the snow but her black hair stood out. Mcgee felt a lump in his throat as he saw how blue her skin was. He was afraid to touch her, she didn't look like she was breathing. Gibbs raced over and began to brush the snow off her. He pressed his hand against her neck, shivering at how cold it was.

"Mcgee, there is still a pulse. I need you to call an ambulance and the rest of the team." Gibbs pulled her up from the side walk and got goosebumps, her skin was so cold. He held her too his chest and looked at her. Snow dusted her eyelashes and her skin was so blue, she almost looked like a doll. His eyes darted down to her thighs and he saw the blood that had dried on her legs and his eyes pricked as they threatened to tear up. He pulled her closer and thats when he noticed how thin she was. He could feel every bone in her back, each and every rib. He pulled her as close has he could.

"Oh Abby. How did I miss it?" He cried softly into her black hair.

Ziva waited at the edge of the door. It was risk to do this sort of thing without back up. It could really mess her up and Gibbs would be furious but she had to save Tony. Zoe could be a nickname for Josie and it suddenly made sense. Josie and Peter were a couple, thats how she knew exactly what he looked like and what he liked. Thats how she knew how he kissed, but then again Zoe had put herself all over Tony. Ziva tried to focus but it was hard when she heard Tony grunting and hollering in there. She steeled herself and kicked in the door.

"NCIS! Hands in the air!"

Gibbs, Mcgee and Ducky all sat in a pale waiting room. Hospital magazines were laid meticulously on a table next to them, but none of them picked up a magazine. Mcgee blinked rapidly, trying hard not to cry. Gibbs just sat quietly fuming, he still had a case to solve but he couldn't reach any of his agents. He was unaware that Ziva had figured it out and was going after the killers alone.

"Family of ?"

Gibbs, Mcgee and Ducky all jumped up.

"Family?" The doctor asked again. Gibbs pointed at Mcgee,

"He is her fiancé, and we are her co-workers." He pointed to himself and Ducky.

The doctor nodded and looked down at his notes.

" ..."

"Her name is Abby." Mcgee growled through his teeth.

"...Abby has sever hypothermia, mild frost bite to a few of her toes, she has pneumonia, she broke both her Tibia and her Fibia and she is currently in a coma. In addition, I am sure you are aware that she is severely underweight by what we believe is an eating disorder, and it appears thats she has been self harming by cutting herself."

Mcgee put a hand over his mouth. He knew all of this was true and he knew most of the information but it still shocked him.

"wh-wh-when can w-we see her?" He stammered.

"You can see her soon. She will be in room 118." The doctor turned on his heel and left.

Abby was in a white world. There was no pain, there was no anguish but there was no nothing. There was no Mcgee, there was no Tony and Ziva flirting and there was no Ducky or papa Gibbs. She was no longer cold and she no longer was bleeding but she was surprised to find she was not feeling anything. No happiness, not sadness, no anything and it was bleak. She saw two paths. One that lead up to a happy place, where she could hear singing and laughter. She even saw Kate waving too her. Then the other path was dark. She was her body laying on the hospital bed. She could see the waves of pain that she would go through if she went back. Abby balked at the idea of experiencing all that pain again. She looked back to Kate, she had missed kate so much! Abby drew in a deep breath and ran towards the laughter, and into Kate's open arms.

Ziva raised up her gun and tried to keep her guard up. She took in the sight before her. Josie was standing beside Tony with a knife to his neck, Tony was completely naked and cuffed to the bed and he looked extremely guilty but Peter Jackson was nowhere to be found.

"Hands up Josie! The game is up!" Josie looked up, terrified and dropped her knife too the floor.

"I never wanted to hurt anyone, I swear. I was just doing it for him." She cried

"ON THE FLOOR! Hands on your head!" Ziva ran over to Josie and quickly cuffed her, tightening them a little tighter than usual for Tony's sake. Then she looked over at Tony and allowed herself to laugh.

"Nice Job Dinozzo. And you thought I would be the one to f*** this up!"

"Just get me out of these Agent David." He growled at her, looking embarrassed.

"She is flatlining!" A nurse screamed into the hall. Gibbs, Mcgee and Ducky all jumped and raced towards Abby's room. When they entered the room, Abby's body was leaping with electric shocks as they tried to re-start her heart.

"Her heart still isn't starting!" Mcgee screamed at the doctors. Gibbs grabbed him as he tried to race towards Abby. He buried his head in his hands as they shocked her again.

"Abby please, oh Abby." He moaned. Ducky put his hand on Mcgee's back and they stood, watching Abby's body flop as the doctors tried to restart her heart. Finally the doctors stopped shocking her. The monitor was still flat and they stared at Abby's lifeless body. The monitor continuing its steady flat drone.

Abby kept getting sucked back into the world of pain. She fought to stay with Kate.

"Kate! Help me!" She screamed as the was being dragged back into the painful world. Kate grabbed her hand and the shocks, as suddenly as they had started, stopped.

"Abby, you have to go back. They love you Abby! Mcgee loves you so much! How can you be at Ziva and Tony's wedding if your up here?" Kate cried at her.

"But Kate, I have missed you so much! Kate, it hurts down there!" Abby buried herself into Kate's chest. Kate soothingly patted Abby's back.

"Abby, I have missed you too but you really need to go back. You can't leave yet! Who is Gibbs going to buy another Caff-pow for? You love those. Who is going to hug Tony  
when he is being a jerk? I can't but you can! Abby, your time window for going back is closing and you need to make a decision."

Abby sobbed into Kate's shirt.

"But I don't wanna leave yet Kate, it hurts down there." Abby turned her tear stained face towards Kate.

"Abby, its your choice." Kate stepped back and pointed at the closing window back to Gibbs, Ziva, Tony and Ducky and then she held out her other hand.

"I am sorry for your loss." The doctor looked down at Mcgee's shoes. Mcgee crumpled too the floor, he placed a hand over his face as he tried to stifle the sobs that racked his frame. Ducky sat back down and his face paled. Gibbs tried too swallow but he found he couldn't move. He felt that if he tried to move, he would break into a million tiny pieces. Mcgee crumpled onto the floor and his eyes rolled back in his head and he passed out. Ducky clutched at his chest, as if the shock and pain of Abby being pronounced dead would give him a heart attack. Gibbs still didn't move. He could see ocean's of grief stretching ahead of him. Just then, his phone rang. Stiffly, he pulled it out of his pocket.

"Hello?" He answered numbly.

"Gibbs! Its Ziva! Tony went on a date with Zoe who turned out to be Josie Banks who's print was on the gun that killed Rachel! We don't know where Peter Jackson is but we do know that Josie was dating Peter who got Rachel pregnant! Then Peter told Josie to kill Rachel cause he didn't want the baby or Rachel but Lucy got in the way so he killed Lucy while Josie killed Rachel! And..." Ziva babbled.

"Ziva..." Gibbs muttered.

"...and I think I can get Josie to talk to tell me where Jackson's is and..."

"ZIVA!" Gibbs screamed.

"ABBY IS DEAD! D*** IT! SHE IS DEAD!"

Ziva went quiet on the other line.

"...dead?" She whispered in a small voice.

"Dead." Gibbs confirmed then hung up the phone.

Ziva shut the phone. Her whole body was numb, she was trying to accept that fact that Abby could be dead but her whole body was rejecting it. She crumpled too the floor but refused to cry. Tony walked over to her casually.

"Have you seen my shirt?" He muttered, tossing a pillow.

Ziva didn't respond, she didn't know how she could move with all this pain. Tony walked over to her.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Abby is dead Tony. She is dead." Ziva whispered, afraid if she said it any louder that it might be true. Tony sat down next to her, his face frozen.

"Dead?"

"Dead." Ziva looked up at Tony and he squeaked.

"What? How? When?" He babbled. Ziva filled him in and his eyes grew wide in horror.

"How come I never knew about this?" He screamed, throwing the clock on the bedside table across the room.

"We never had a chance to tell you." She murmured. Ziva looked down at the ground and she just felt numb. She couldn't comprehend that Abby might be gone. Tony sat still and silent beside her, and she didn't even feel him touch her arm.

"We should go to the hospital..." Tony whispered and pulled Ziva up from the floor.

Abby left towards Kate and kissed her one the forehead, where she had been shot.

"I need to go back Kate!" She cried and hurdled her self towards the real world. Kate smiled wistfully and turned and disappeared. Abby ran towards the world that was closing itself off from her forever. She jumped and fell into her body and everything was dark. She couldn't comprehend the pain, it was too much at first. She slowly adjusted but she found she couldn't hear her heart and she couldn't breath. It felt like she was being sat on by and elephant while on the bottom of a pool. Abby felt as if she was being smothered in a blanket. It was hard to tell where anything was. She had no sense of time or feeling or anything but she struggled against the weight and confusion. Abby grappled with her body but she couldn't get it to respond. In frustration she squeezed at what she thought was her heart with everything she had and all of a sudden there was a loud gush. The elephant on her chest was gone, she could hear herself breathing shallow breaths. The pain was excruciating and constant but she was glad because it told her she was alive. She also noticed that there was no longer that insatiable evil voice inside her mind. And she could also hear a loud thrumming in her ears and Abby realized that it was her heart. _Whump Whump Whump._

Mcgee crumbled. He felt like he was breaking slowly into pieces. This was like no pain he had ever experienced. This was internal and no medication would make it go away. No amount of ointment would ever make it fully heal. He numbly paced the hospital hallway, hurting too much to sit still but he didn't want to go into Abby's room. He didn't want to see her corpse, void of any Abby-ness. Mcgee felt a strong pull though, like he needed to be in there with her one last time. We wandered into her room and walked over too her bed.

"Oh Abigail. I loved you, I love you Abby. Why did you leave me?" He reached down and grabbed one of her hands, it was still warm. He sobbed into her palm for several good minutes.

"You will always be in my heart Abby. I will never forget you. I will always regret not being there for you but I love you Abigail. Always." He leaned in to kiss her forehead, then he smoothed out her hair and headed for the door. At the door he stopped and turned to look at her. This reminded him of Romeo and Juliet. Juliet 'dies' and Romeo cries over her and then goes and kills himself just as Juliet is waking up. If Romeo had stayed to grieve a few more minutes, he would have been alive and Juliet would have been alive. Mcgee stumbled back to Abby's bed and kissed her gently on the lips. Thats when he saw her chest rise.

Tony and Ziva drove in silence down too the hospital. Ziva was too shattered to tease Tony about his romantic evening with a murderer. Tony was too upset to feel embarrassed about Ziva walking in on him cuffed and naked. They walked into the hospital together and they saw Gibbs and Ducky. Ziva ran forward and fell into Ducky's arms, not a sob escaping her lips but she was glassy eyed. Ducky hugged her tight, his face pale. Tony knew Ziva wasn't the hugging type but Ducky needed it. He stepped forward and placed his hand on Gibb's shoulder, trying to make sure it didn't shake.

"Where is Mcgee?" He asked quietly

"He is in with Abby." Gibbs replied softly. Tony turned to look towards the room and he sighed. As torn up as he was over Abby, he knew Mcgee was even more broken. He had loved Abby. It would be like him losing Ziva. Just the thought made his gut clench and he thought he was going to be sick.

"Abby? ABBY! Are you in there? Wake up Abby! Wake up!" Mcgee cried at her. He placed his hand on her neck and was astonished to feel a tiny weak pulse. He pressed the call button beside her bed in a frenzy.

"She is alive! She has a pulse! Abby isn't dead!" He screamed into the mike. Seconds later, the room was filled with doctors all rushing over to Abby.

"Its a miracle!" "Thats amazing!" "She was dead..." "Impossible!" "A medical mistake?" Voices and statements flew around the room but Mcgee didn't care. She was alive, that meant he could breath again and the debilitating pain in his chest disappeared. Abby was back.

Tony walked over to Ziva and grabbed her hand.

"Don't you ever leave me Zi. You hear me?" He growled and kissed her roughly. He didn't care that they were in a hospital, he didn't care that Gibbs and Ducky were watching, he didn't care about rule #12, he only cared about his Ziva.

"Never." She murmured against his lips. As they kissed, he could feel her pain, her sorrow and loss and he let her drink his pain too, so that she knew she wasn't alone. He grasped her too him and held her tight. Mcgee's screaming in Abby's room and many doctors rushing into the room alerted the team that something was going on. They ran down to Abby's room, Tony still holding onto Ziva. They saw the doctors hovering over Abby and then they saw Mcgee smiling with tears in his eyes. They heard the heart monitor and they knew she was going to be ok. Mcgee decided at that moment, the steady beeping of the heart rate monitor was one of his favorite sounds.

When Abby woke up, the was in a world of pain. Everything hurt but it was a good hurt. It told her that she had survived and she was alive. She smiled at the pain and looked out the window, finding enjoyment as the sun warmed her face. A gentle hand squeezing hers startled her. She looked over to see Mcgee's loving face inches from her. She gasped and pulled her towards her, as their lips touched, an electric current shot through both of them. She kissed him deeper, enjoying the way he smelled of soap and hair gel. His eyes were wet when she released him. She touched the tip of his nose with her index finger.

"Im sorry." She murmured, and she meant it.

END :3


End file.
